What is Love ? Love is Just a contaminated form of Lust Or Scientifically Libido. It’s a River Flowing Inside Your Consciousness Which Is Extremely Potent. When It Remains Within It’s Boundaries It Can Give Birth To Whole Civilizations and Help Them In Flourishing But When It Ditches It’s Boundaries Then It Can Destroy Everything Brutally. This River Was Flowing Inside Me Too and I Have To Cross Boundaries Literally for Fulfilling It’s Desires.
It all Begins With Social Media, Facebook To Be Precise. She Was Beautiful Or Should I Say Extremely Beautiful and I Was Young. The Combination of Petrol and Matchbox. It Has To Burn Eventually and It Burnt. We Fall In Love Within Two Months Of Chatting.
We Were Not Like Normal Couples Who Does That Shitty Talk Like ” Baby Do You Have Your Lunch ” Or ” Baby What You are Wearing Today “. We Used To Talk About Higher Things Like Why These Boundaries Exists Everywhere, Why There are So Many Nations In The World,Why There are Different Religions,Why There’s Nothing Like ‘ Universal Brotherhood Exist etc etc. We Both Were Entirely Different From Each Other Yet Had a Really Deeper Connection. Same as Our Countries. Yes ,She Was From Pakistan and I Am From India.
The Rivalry Between India and Pakistan Is Well Known Everywhere. Yet They Both are Part Of The Same Ancestral Civilization. It’s Older Than Palestinian and Israel Conflict and Far More Violent. We Had Fought Three Wars Till Now and Proxy War Is a Routine Thing. Terrorist Attacks are Pretty Much Normal For India. It’s Not a Political Or Cultural Issue. It’s Basically a Religious Issue and Kashmir Is The Arena Of This One Upmanship Game. It’s a War Between The Different Ideals Of The Same Civilization.
Anyway,It Was Her Birthday and She Wanted To Meet Me In Person. Obstinacy and That Too Of a Beautiful Girl. She Insisted So Much That I agreed Finally. I Had a Friend Of Mine Who Was Working In The Indian Embassy In Pakistan. I Got all The Official Documents With His Help and One day Before Her Birthday I Was In Lahore Pakistan.
I Was On The Streets Of Pakistan. For An Indian It’s Quite Easy To Walk On The Roads Of Sudan Or Syria Or Even Gaza Strip But Not Of Pakistan. You Become an Enemy Of The State Of Pakistan From Birth If You Are an Indian.
The First Thing I Noticed That Although People Look Same, Their Language Was Same Yet There Was a Different. You Need a Deeply Analytical Mind To Understand That Difference. The Western Definition Of a Nation Falls Flat Here. A Nation Is Definitely Not a Human Community With Land, Sovereignty, Population Which Share Common Origin, Language, Religion Or Culture and Brotherhood. Because By That Logic India and Pakistan Should Be One Nation. It’s a Deep Thing.
The Ideals Of The People Were Entirely Different. For Instance In India Non Violence Is a Virtue. We See That Every Life Is The Manifestation Of The Same Truth. That’s Why In India You Will Find Less Meat Shops Than The Shop Of Vegetables and Milk. You Will Find Grains and Pots of Water For Pigeons On The Rooftops Of any Normal Indian House. But Here In Pakistan It Was Totally Opposite. People Were Publicly Butchering Cows and Buffaloes. Most Shops Were Selling Meat and Naans. Nobody Can Believe That It Was an Indian Land a Few Decades ago. If You Change The Fundamental Ideas Of a Nation,No Matter How Much You Preserve Other Things Like Language Or Music, You Will Get an Entirely Different Nation.
Anyway,I Was Walking Freely Although I Had a Feeling That Someone Is Stalking Me. Suddenly Out Of Nowhere Two Policemen Came and ask My Name. Their Eyes Glittered When I Told Them My Name and that I am From India. A Hindu From India. What More You Needed To Get Promoted ? They asked Me To Show My Passport and Alas !
My Passport Wasn’t There. It Wasn’t In My Bag Or Pocket Or Anywhere Near Me. Then What Happened Was Expected. A Hindu From India Without a Passport In Pakistan Is a Spy and A Pakistani Without Passport In India Is a Terrorist. However I Have Misplaced My Passport While Some Of The Pakistanis Don’t Need It To Enter India. They Arrested Me and Jailed Me. They Beat Me Whole Night and I am Sure The Numbers Of My Bones Was Doubled That Night. I Was Shouting and Crying But Who’s Gonna Listen Me ?
After Hearing My Story They Call Her Next Morning. She Was There In Front Of Me. I Forgot All My Pains. She Talked With Me and We Both Cry. After She Was Gone The Inspector Came to Me and Give Me an Offer That I Can’t Refuse.
” Be a Muslim and Stay Here Alive Or Die Here. You Have a Whole Night To Think “.
There’s Nothing Big In It. I Wasn’t a Very Religious Hindu. I Went To Temple Occasionally Mostly On Festivals. I Was More Of An Agnostic Kind Of A Person Like Most Of Young Indians are These Days. I Always Complained About My Nation. India Lacks This,India Lacks That,India Is abusive,India Is Regressive,India Is Not For Naive People and What Not. But That Night Changed It All.
When I Thought Deeply I Find That I Won’t Be Able To Be Myself If I Won’t Be a Hindu and Indian. Same Is True For a Christian Or Muslim Or Pakistani Or Japanese Or American. Your Religion and Nation Is an Integral Part Of Your Being. It’s Deeply Embedded In Your Consciousness. It’s True That You Haven’t Chosen Your Country. It’s Accidental. But It Make You What You are.
I am Pretty Sure That I Will Praise Pakistan If I Was Born There But I Will Not Be Myself. That Person Will Be Entirely Different. The Life Experiences I Have,My Values,My Collective Consciousness,My Ideals,My Pleasures and Everything of Me Which Makes Me Will Be Different,So There Will Be No Myself. Maybe I Look The Same In That Scenario But I Won’t Exist at All. I am Myself Because I am An Indian and I Will Be an Indian For My Entire Life,No Matter How Hard I Try To Change. My Entire Existence Is Based On It and To Change That I Have To Be Non Existent.
It’s a Pure Psychological Phenomenon. It’s Scale Transformation. People Behave Differently When They are Part Of Different Groups. The Smaller The Group,The More Realistic and Binding It. That’s Why We See Villagers are More Friendly To Each Others Than Urban Folks. That’s Why You Can’t Live For Everyone Else. That’s Why Abstract Notions Like Universal Brotherhood Don’t Exists and Nations Exists.
Borders are Not Conspiracies But a Very Natural Expression Of The Limiting Human Cognition. If I Say That You Have To Go To Work Because Your Kids are Hungry Then Definitely You Will Go To Work But If I Told you That You Have To Work Hard Because Humanity Is Hungry Then You Won’t Work With That Much Zeal. That’s Human Nature. If I Told You That You Have To Martyred For Our Nation Then You Will Proudly Do That But If I Ask You To Do The Same for Humanity, You Won’t Do That.
Nations and Religions are Much More Deeper Than You Think. They are Not Just Tags But Part Of Your Being. They are The Constituent Parts Of Your Existence. They Make You What You are. It’s In Your Consciousness. It’s Not About Just Patriotism and Jingoism But It’s an Idea of Being. It’s About Philosophy and Psychology and Not about Geography and Political Science. That’s Why The Idea Of Israel Survived In The Minds Of Jews. That’s Why India Is Surviving as A Civilizational State For Thousands Of Years. it’s Beyond Comprehension.
We all Are Brothers Because We all Bleed Red. This is a Shitty Idea. Because By This Logic The Chicken You ate Last Night Was Your Brother Because It Also Bleeds Red. Every Animal Excluding Octopus Will Be Your Brother. This Is The Logic Of Spoiled Brats Who Think that Human Existence Is Just Flesh,Bones and Blood. Human Existence Is Much More Bigger Than That.
You Can Change Your Residence But You Can’t Change Your Motherland. You Simply Can’t Disowned Or Change Your Parents,No Matter Wether You Like Them Or Not. Your Existence Itself Prove That They Existed,They Loved Each Other and They Loved You.
Anyway,Next Morning I Said No To Them. They Obviously Beat Me. They Took Me To The Court Which Was a Joke. They Proved That I Was A Spy and Gave Me Life Imprisonment. It Took Less Than An Hour. I Laughed at Them.
I Requested The Policemen To Let Me Use Phone Once. One Of Them Out Of Pity Helped Me. I Called My Friend Who Worked In The Indian Embassy. He Told Me That He Can arrange All Documents If I Somehow Escape The Prison.
One Night After Two Weeks I Escaped From The Jail. That Itself Prove That This Land Was Part Of India You Know. My Friend Helped Me To Escape Via The Border Of Afghanistan.
I Called Her From a PCO In a Remote Village Of Pakistan. She Said That She Was Happy For Me. It Was True Love In Which Possession Doesn’t Matter. If I Had Accepted The Offer,She Won’t Be able To Love Me That Much Because I Won’t Be ‘ Me ‘. She Had Loved a Hindu Man From India and a Little Change In That Will Change Me.
It’s Not That International Relationships aren’t Succesful but They are Between International People. People Who are Either Ultra Rich and Modern Or Ultra Poor To Whom Nations Doesn’t Matter. In Our Case I Was as Much Indian As She Was Pakistani. We Never Listened To International Pop Artists. We Both Loved Ghazals. The Only Difference Was That I Listen Jagjit Singh and She Listens to Ghulam Ali.
We Both Cried and Mutually Decided That This Would Be Our Last Conversation. So I ended Up It With a Shayri Stanza Of Sahir Ludhianvi.
तार्रुफ़ रोग हो जाये तो उसको भूलना बेहतर
ताल्लुक बोझ बन जाये तो उसको तोड़ना अच्छा
वो अफ़साना जिसे अंजाम तक लाना ना हो मुमकिन
उसे इक खूबसूरत मोड़ देकर छोड़ना अच्छा
चलो इक बार फिर से अजनबी बन जाएं हम दोनों
Which Means That If Introduction Becomes Disease Then It’s Better To Forget it. If Relationship Becomes Burden Then It’s Better To Break It. The Story Which Is Not possible To End, It’s Better To Leave It With a Beautiful Turn. Let’s Be Strangers Again.
Anyway,I Somehow Reached Moscow In Russia With a Pakistani Passport Arranged By My Friend. I Bought Tickets For New Delhi. The Immigration Officer After Seeing My Passport Asked Me ” Where are You from “
I Replied Smilingly ” From India With Love”